Poems

For my smile is a bit different
From the last time you saw me.
I have lost a few teeth,
Grown a few too.
But, it still has the same shine.
The shine that you said to keep so desperately.
The shine you could feel beaming out on a phone call. The shine that could light up a room.
For I've grown too,
Not much of course
But, by just a little.
For my shoe size is one anew.
And I can pronounce my R’s too.
At every little sentence I can't help but giggle,
But that's nothing new.
I still love cats and dogs,
I can tie my shoestrings too!
Don't worry Dad,
I’m not much new.
You've changed a bit since I've seen you too.
For my smile is a bit different,
But it always recognizes you!

normal is a scam.
Growing up they said, be normal
As girls, cross your legs, don’t speak up, stop advocating, we’ve had enough
As black girls, tame your hair, that you can’t wear, way too provocative,

when you speak they stare.
As students, get straight A’s, stay on top, you have to work hard, the grind never stops
As professors, education is in your hands, it’s time to take the stand, the future you shall mold, so create minds of gold.
As questioning queers, choose one or the other, that’s not a way of life, when it’s time to come out, your words will be be knife
Who am I
they asked
I’m Jada, I’m a writer, some may say, a fighter, I like to see the world, I wish to remain forever a teenage girl
WHO ARE YOU
We asked
Are you a lover? Do you take pride? Are you outspoken? Will you hide?
We don’t take normal here.
Now that may grind your gears
You’ve learned to identify with these worldly matters
It’s only brought you tears
You can’t tell me who you are from the soul
And frankly, that would be my biggest fear.
They told you, men, not showing emotion was normal
They said the same for being straight
They said our lifestyle wasn’t normal
, And that wasn’t up for debate
I am everything and nothing at the same time
We’re all just pawns cut from the same vine
Reading different lines
Being placed with different fines
Listening to these capitalistic superficial lies
Hoping, just hoping, we’ll find
Something to reassure us all this was worth while
Homophobia, racism, ableism, does it all end?
Is ignorance gonna be our dishonorable sin
Or will we finally let integration win
It’s all a choice, is all I can say
So if you decide to shame someone of their ways
Remember, who you will be
As another day comes remember how you walked this path
And that is who you’ll remain
So from hatred I suggest you abstain
We weren’t put here to be normal
Or to stay inside
To surround yourself in environments where you can’t be unapologetically you
Every good thing in life
Every majestic moment we see
That is who we are
If we decide to be
The old black man on the corner selling Cds
The girls outside Walmart selling cookies for their basketball team.
I see that we’ve corrupted our good home
By assigning labels and constructs and concepts upon every aspect of life
Causing us, our very own strife.
We’re put here to love
And that’s simply what those you judge are doing.
Loving, shamelessly, unconditionally
So maybe you just love too
And I hope love is what you’ll say
When I ask, who are you.

When it was time to leave for school, You cried.
You cried the same way You cried when they put Mamita in The mausoleum
The way You cry when You know that things wouldn’t be The way they were before.

When You were taken away, Mawmaw cried. Maybe the rest of us were in shock
From the screaming
From Your poor choices, and

From fighting.

When we knew You would not be back, the family cried. The living room was quiet in a way that felt foreign
No yelling or crashing
No tension so tight it would break at any moment

No wondering what came next.

When they heard the full story, they cried. It was already done with by then
Why worry
Why cry

Why care?

When i heard her say i didn’t come from a broken home, i cried. Since she first heard i was struggling, she told me i was wrong
I grieved our bond long before my mom went away
I took the time for revenge and anger

I put my mom in the ground long before she threw herself on it.
My mom was already gone, and she had taken the way things could’ve been too.

Perfection is impossible. 

Just as traveling at the speed of light. 

To truly be advertency 

One must accept the emotional cascades. 

Ride with the fluctuations of the currents. 

Clog the seepage of doubt. 

Let your perfect imperfections percolate your being. 

No one is above you, the journey is endless.

I know sometimes it’s hard and you can even feel helpless. 

But we all need support. 

Somebody to lean on.

And if you take that first step,

The isolation won’t be long. 

People love to love you,

They long to see you shine. 

Accept patience and compassion because it’s always the right time.

I stare at the photo of my father.

I feel nothing as the tears run down my cheeks.

I crinkle the photo in my hand.

I bring the lighter to the corner.

As the picture burns I think of the memories.

I hope they burn along with it.

He comes back in November.

So I pray October doesn't end.

And I just wish.

Things were how they were back then.

Oh, how you held my hand tight.

And that look in your eye.

Like I was the only one alive.

As the picture burns the tears stop falling.

I dust myself off, stand up and start walking.

Out the door, my bag held tight.

And I prepare for the next night.

Where'll do this charade all over again.

Till you get back home.

But the tears won't end.

All those people from the past, 
I took lessons from them. 
No longer feeling betrayed, burdened, or buried by their memories.
As figments, they are gone with the wind. 
As a Tumble weed on my path. 
Oh we tumbled weed alright,
Which led to several paths. 
Several paths of addiction I thought I’d never take. 
All the mistakes & f**** up choices I made. 
I fumbled my spirit,
all for some lines?
But what is timing if it isn’t divine? 
Even the hopeless spaces hold love. 
Enough for everyone since they can’t see their true colors. 
But soon enough, 
These petals in the wind will germinate. 
No more hate on this side,
It’s all love, it’s all great. 
Not dandy, but you know good things come to those who wait 
& the greatest things take time,
So who the f** are you to tell me that this s** ain’t divine? 

Across from me sat a stranger.

My mind could only focus on the scrapes that echoed from the inmate's metal chairs.

I didn't recognize the coarse hands that had never rocked me to sleep or the mouth that had never wished me good luck. 

The plastic mirror separating us wasn't needed, for the emotional barrier had already formed.

His eyes pleaded me to pick up the phone. 

As I grabbed it, I felt my walls begin to crack and hands begin to shake. 

The thousands of unsaid words my dad left behind had finally reached my ear. 

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Love is special

Love is fine 

It sends warm shimmers down my spine 

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Your touch is like creasing fire 

Your smile can make me feel desire 

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Symphony

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Yes You Can

You will hear doubts, negativity, and uncertainty. 

Keep on going.

No matter what challenges life throws at you.

Keep on going. 

You can overcome.

Do not give up.

You are worth it.

Empower yourself with positive self-talk. 

Be a voice for yourself and others.

Be kind to yourself and others.

Be someone you admire. 

You are beyond capable.

Nothing is easy.

Driving hours to see him for two.

Having to say goodbye.

Not getting to say I love you back because his time ran out. 

Not knowing what’s going on or why he’s stuck in this place with these scary people.

Moving from house to house because there is no father to support our family.

Having dinner without him.

Celebrating birthdays without him.

Him not being there to watch us graduate.

There is all this stuff that was not easy for me as a child of an incarcerated parent.

But you think it was easy for him?

Having to live with the guilt.

Having to be locked up in a cell.

Having to explain to his young children why he is where he is.

Having to spend holidays without his children.

Having to share his space with other people.

Having to always be ready to protect his self.

Having only a certain amount of time to call his children.

Having to look at your children behind a glass.

Having a limited amount of time outside.

Not being able to touch your children.

Nothing is easy.

Dear Mama,
I got to see you before Christmas and you are finally out
I hope it stays that way and you don’t go wondering about
I hope you get a job and stay on your grind
Just remember you’re always on my mind
Even though you’ve caused so much pain in my past
I hope this time you’re out and it lasts
You look weaker every time I see you
I hope you stay sober and true to your word
“I’ve changed. I’m not going back, baby, you heard me?”
Yes, I heard you, but it’s actions that matter, not what you say
‘Cause last time you said that you were back in jail the next day
Maybe God’s finally going to answer our prayers
Now that I think about it, 15 years without my mom wasn’t fair
But it was all for a reason
That’s what my dad says, but I don’t believe him
Anyway, I love you and I hope you stay in the clear
And make 2018 a better year.

FUNES…
One of many
But the son of one
I was meant to stand out
But I’m more closed in 
There’s few funes’ out here
So when people ask for my
last name
I bet they look it up on the internet…
And I wonder what might come up… hmm… That’s 
Sarcasm of course I know my father will
Convicted felon, a criminal, a terrorist…
They will say what they want 
About him 
But I am a reflection of him & mother
When I’m angry I do 
Stupid things
Stuff I wouldn’t do if I was thinking 
I take responsibility for 
It
Nobody’s perfect
But we strive to be a lot of 
Things
My last name I don’t know
A lot about it I just know that its mine
That my first name is his 
Middle name & Ant is 
Also in my older brother’s name

I must encourage change, so that when it rains, the sky drops range, so that in my brain, I distort the lanes, so that I can invite someone of any works to help me bring back what was supposed to be maintained

What was supposed to be a borrow from the past
Turned into a repeat of history at last

A bunch of nonsense lies and silenced cries
A bunch of blinded eyes and poor sighs

I say corporations are a big word for a “how to get away with evil tutorial”
And the more we allow them to be private, the less we treasure the memorial

I say y’all used a legal gun to take Kaliefs soul, I say you used your bare hands to see to it that the Garner family is no longer whole

You pulled Sandra over to say a bunch of nothing
And I’m also certain that Tamir thought you were bluffing

I say forget your logic and the badge you so proudly wear
Because the level of melanin in my skin seems to be such a scare

Because if I run, you kill, and if I stay, you kill, and if I close my eyes, I’d say you kill but maybe just maybe I could get away, perhaps to a secret place, like where I can embrace , the lives that are at stake

Why isn’t universal healthcare a thing?
To take away cancer treatment, who made you king?
Forget your stupid money and your stupid  bling
I call your “in debt excuse” a wild fling

Little Josie cant get a transplant because the big people didn’t get enough sponsors at their dance because her mom didn’t go to the headquarters and rant and because her insurance won’t cover it and there are no grants

We watch movies of evil worlds but through the eyes of a young black girl, I say this is somewhere that wants me to straighten my curls, somewhere that doesn’t sooth but upsets my nerves

You take my brothers from the department of education to the department of prisons, but you never take into account that a childhood is what he was never given, and that your nightmare is what he’s always lived in

You put my sisters in this foolish dynamic, you must cook and clean no you must cook and be neat no you must cook and be shiny not sheen

Dear government, please don’t make me take out a loan
Please don’t make me chew this down to the bone
Please don’t make me dial on my phone
Please don’t make me raise my tone.

I want my daddy back

That’s all I ask for.

To see him again 

Hug him again.

Have him with me.

It’s been ten years and no sign of him

No calls from him

Why?

Because he was deported after being in prison

They took him away from me.

He’s scared of crossing the border.

He’s scared of prison.

Will he ever come back?

I want my daddy back.

He’s the only one missing in the pictures.

I’ve culminated from elementary

I’ve culminated from middle school

I’ve graduated from high school

And I am determined to graduate from college  

But will he be there? 

Will he finally be in the picture?

I want my daddy back.

Hashtag black lives matter
Fists up for Trayvon Martin’s hoodie
Fists up for Sandra Bland’s right
Fists up for Oscar Grant’s begging
Fists up for Philando Castle’s license
Fists up for Jamar Clark’s life
Fists up for Stephen Tooson’s SUV
Fists up for Matthew Ajibade’s bipolarity
Fists up for Calvon Reid’s cardiac arrest
Fists up for Natsaha Mckenna’s mental issue
Fists up for Deontre Dorsey’s seizure
Fists up for Tony Robinson’s friends
Fists up for Bernard Moore’s store run
Fists up for Askari Roberts’ alleged paranoia
Fists up for Nicholas Thomas’ job
Fists up for Philip White’s unconsciousness
Fists up for Donald “Dontay” Ivy’s heart condition
Fists up for the lying as well as the crying
Fists up for the depression as well as the oppression
Fists up for sadness as well as the madness

Fists up for the discrete discretion forcing obliviousness upon police possession side by side with solicit succession and there’s an uncommon confession that this the second great depression and that these are solicited times of increasing aggression.

See we all contributed to the concrete collision which was necessary in order to make a delightful decision that has solidified our unified position that should be able to grant us our actual admissions within this corrupt land and their unappreciative way of diminishing our ambition.

I'm in the kitchen cooking up permission to absolutely annihilate the ill mission that's aiming to emotionally assault my people and put them in physical mal condition.

Some way, somehow we have to audition to be an addition, well i speak loud and clear and i am saying NO as you all feed us this sense of competition as a source of ammunition, we refuse the offer to benefit your transition.

You’ve congested the people’s chest, and in regards to their feelings, you’ve suppressed them. As some of my people pass and some fail the test, we all remain together in unfortunate distress, as our creativity stays under arrest.
The second they threatened our blessings, our will power began to lessen. I am here to deliver the weapon of the oppressed, the obsessed and the deadened.

The people who want to see progression, the ones who practice their profession, and the ones who strive for impression.

To put my fists up in honor and glory of my people’s succession and their way of directed and undirected expression.

Rooted in God and womanhood I’m like a tree
Cause I give and give but then who gives to me?
A lot of y’all wear glasses but you still can’t see
So I manifest at last that whether easy or hard, my people WILL be free

I, Olu Ogunlade will put my fist up and hereby take great pleasure in awarding you all in the name of prestige, recognition, and eminence, for we shall be shameless, and continue to obtain our never said greatness.

So I say their names. George Floyd. Kalief Browder. Tamir Rice. Sean Reed. Eric Garner. Breonna Taylor. Jamel Floyd. Ahmaud Arbery. Trayvon Martin. Philando Castile. Kendrick Johnson. Sandra Bland. Alton Sterling. Mike Brown. Sean Bell. Tony Robinson. Matthew Ajibade. Askari Roberts. Patrick Dorismond. Natasha McKenna. Antwon Rose II. Laquan McDonald. Oscar Grant Jamar Clark. Nakia Crawford. And to all my other black lives, we are warring for your bodies.

The constitution says WE the people, but I say let’s BE the people.

My people no longer yearn to survive, we want to LIVE and then we want to thrive.

Incarceration is the

Separation And Isolation of families,

which leads to the

interrogation of visitors that imposes the humiliation and Defamation of their characterization.

I’m not the one who is punished - but your assassination

of my dignity

when I go through the detector,

Makes me feel lesser,

all cause I have a loved one behind bars-

You take this too far

Check my background

Check my pockets,

Am I dressed right?

Did I violate

Your code

Of ethics?

this is just your method

To make sure we all see

What prison life really means.

Go

tell one

tell all

How the incarcerated affects us all

We the people

are not at all

Equal as you all recall

Separation and segregation

We’re not united in this nation.

I visited my dad..

couldn’t sit on his lap

CO gave my dad a tap

That’s enough of that

Couldn’t give my dad an embrace

Without a CO all up in our my face

4 years old I would never see

my dad be there for me

I was an orphan

just like Annie

Hard knock life for us

I used to ride the joint connection bus

From Newark to Trenton, NJ

State prison to see my daddy

68144

Rafael Luciano, I am his daughter

Forever grateful

Never shameful

My maker

My strength

Comes from he

I am him and he is me..

Society can’t make me hate you

These laws are made to break you

And me apart

Because our skin is tan and dark

But I won’t let them make me think

Less of you daddy

Forever and ever you are father

I will cherish you like no other

They took you away from me

To make me struggle

To make our legacy buckle

As long as I’m conscience I will speak

Of all the injustice done to thee

It’s not right

It’s not fair

I’m 40 and you’re still in there.

As long as I live

I will always be

Daddy’s lil girl to my daddy...

I come from the hood where the birds are so huge they look like helicopters​

I come from the hood where on Christmas, cars with red and blue lights spark our neighborhood​

I come from the hood where they make art with one color​

I come from the hood, but that doesn’t mean I need to​

look or talk hood​

I come from the hood but that doesn’t mean I don’t own a​

book . . .​

I make my own! 
 

Dream Catchers, a POPS the Club anthology (2021)

Dad incarcerated.

Mom arrested.

CPS always banging on the door. Constant lies.

Problem child.

Abusive boyfriend.

Age 16 College.

Survival.

Genius.

No. Survival.

Anxiety, depression, PTSD, ADHD, body dysmorphia, imposter syndrome.

I’m fine.

I’m fine.

I’m fine.

I’m fine.

Age 19 my own apartment and dream job. I’m safe.

I’m finally safe.

You will be too.

I promise.

Yeah, this is for everyone who ever lost someone. And you know that person had a story no one knew about. So now it’s left unfinished, and no one will ever know. We try to make it live on. I feel this is the only way.

So much to learn ‘n tell with only one life to live.
Been going through so much sh_t, like something it gotta give
Pray the most highest forgive me for all my sins.
And protect at all cost if I ever have kids
A lot of ppl who gone and they story unfinished.
Never got a chance, some didn’t care to listen
Gotta be a reason to be up in this position
Tell this Dead Man’s Story when I’m no longer living

‘90s baby forever. The golden Era
West Side Cali, you tell me who do it better?
To my unborn, if I don’t make it I leave this letter
That the only wish I wanted was a family  together
Discriminated and hated because of my melanin
If I grew up right, I could have been the president
Beat 5 years cuz they lost the evidence
This world so sick need more than medicine
Lookin’ back, I was young and still confused
But to have a better future I knew what I had to do
Someone died. Sad to Wake up and check and see that it’s you.
Can’t imagine since a child all things I been through
Chapter after chapter. My life was a disaster. Write my own stories and I own my own masters.
Why we live slow when we all die faster.
Armageddon coming be prepared for the rapture.
Tell ‘em quote every Bar I write
So when they feel how I feel they will know my life
I had lost everything, but got back my pride.
If I never have kids, I never found my wife.

Everyday learning new life lessons.
Thanking the most high, counting all my blessings.
The soul in this vessel. Is it sent from heaven? I feel like I died and came back just to tell it.

So much to learn ‘n tell with only one life to live. Been going through so much sh_t like something it gotta give
Pray to the highest forgive me for all my sins. And protect at all cost
If I ever have kids
A lot of ppl who gon and they story unfinished.
Never got a chance, some didn’t care to listen
Gotta be a reason to be up in this position
Tell this Dead Man’s Story when I’m no longer living

To be the best always hoping I could
To find true love always hoping I would
Ima have Venice put this song in a book.
To graduate the way I did, you don’t know what it took
Criticized, always judged by my looks.
Can anyone tell me why I feel more than I should?
I feel the soul inside not as old as I look.
To stand tall in my shoes don’t know if you could.

Every day learning new life lessons.
Thanking the most high counting all my blessings.
The soul in this vessel. Is it sent from heaven? I feel like I died and came back just to tell it.

A lot of ppl who gon and they story unfinished.
I cried and wish I died because I had these feelings
The pride inside me won’t let me diminish.
I found the piece of me that was always missing.

So much to learn ‘n tell with only one life to live. Been going through so much sh_t like something it gotta give
Pray to the highest forgive me for all my sins. And protect at all cost
If I ever have kids
A lot of ppl who gon and they story unfinished.
Never got a chance, some didn’t care to listen
Gotta be a reason to be up in this position
Tell this Dead Man’s Story when I’m no longer living

At Age 15 almost lost it all.
At Age 15 lost my closest dawg.
The pain kept coming, couldn’t shake it off.
Probation for nothing I prayed I’d make it off.
Everybody living got a story to tell.
You can call mine “Life living in Hell.”
Crazy I don’t show it so you won’t even tell.
Cloud did four years, now he out of that jail
My sister, my brothers, my cousins everyone I love ‘em
Picking up pieces in life completed me a puzzle.
Motivated by struggle, that’s why I always hustle.
All this writing and music know I don’t do this sh_t for notin

Everyday learning new life lessons.
Thanking the most high counting all my blessings.
The soul in this vessel. Is it sent from heaven? I feel like I died and came back just to tell it.

A lot of ppl who gon and they story unfinished.
I cried and wish I died because I had these feelings
The pride inside me won’t let me diminish.
I found the piece of me that was always missing.

So much to learn ‘n tell with only one life to live. Been going through so much sh_t like something it gotta give
Pray to the highest forgive me for all my sins. And protect at all cost
If I ever have kids
A lot of ppl who gon and they story unfinished.
Never got a chance, some didn’t care to listen
Gotta be a reason to be up in this position
Tell this Dead Man’s Story when I’m no longer living

Black and white, green the only one that really matter
Can’t stop, was taught to go and chase whatever that I’m after.
The cops, want me dead but I can’t ever let that happen.
Thank Pops, because without it my life would’ve been a disaster.
Day and night, pray these lyrics change my life
The pain, you can feel within every word that I write
No shame, just get tougher with every battle you fight.
No prison can’t take my vision, same for the ones that’s inside.

Summer 0’10 chillin’ wit friends. Long story short 15 my first offense. 3 felonies,

trialed as an adult, I’m just a kid. All the drama in my life and I’m feeling like this is it.
Now it’s over, if you love someone then keep them closer
No one is promised tomorrow so I stay focused
Trying to live with the pain is hard I know it.
I been rapping for years, they finally saw me as a poet
Where’s the crowd? I hope everyone can listen
Don’t ever doubt a person’s worth because they went to prison
4 years and now he home, it’s crazy how I still miss him
A puzzle that’s not complete. Pieces of me was missing
I found them way deep inside, and now I’m completely finished
Inglewood baby how I end up over here in Venice
Over 10 years now since I beat that sentence
Thank God I’m still here through all the good and all the sinning

Black and white, green the only one that really matter
Can’t stop, was taught to go and chase whatever that I’m after.
The cops, want me dead but I can’t ever let that happen.
Thank Pops, because without it my life would’ve been a disaster.
Day and night, pray these lyrics change my life
The pain, you can feel within every word that I write
No shame, just get tougher with every battle you fight.
No prison can’t take my vision, same for the ones that’s inside.

My dad is in jail but I feel like he needs to be in there. He did something bad.  I want him to know that I love him and forgive him. But me and him could never have

a good relationship ever. 

Now my dad is not a bad person he just

made a bad mistake. Everybody

ask me if I am ok that he is in jail. I always say “yes” becauseI hide my feelings.

I know it’s going to be hard growing up

without a dad.  Kids who grow up

without a dad are more likely to make

bad choices but as long as I got my

mom and I am going to try to stay in school

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And be good.
 

Jaylynn, 12 years old